Don’t feel you always have to be there. In the not-so-olden days of letters and landlines, contacting someone was slow and unreliable and an effort. In the age of WhatsApp and Messenger it’s free and easy and instant. The flipside of this case is that we are expected to be there. To pick up the phone. To get back to the text. To answer the email. To update our social media. But we can choose not to feel that obligation. We can sometimes just let them wait. We can risk our social media getting stale. And if our friends are friends they will understand when we need some headspace. And if they aren’t friends, why bother getting back anyway?

2. Turn off notifications

This is essential. This keeps me [just about] sane. All of them. All notifications. You don’t need any of them. Take back control.

3. Keep the phone away from you

Have times of the day where you’re not beside your phone. Okay, I’m bad at this one. But I’m getting better. No one needs their phone all the time. We don’t need it by the bed. We don’t need it while we’re eating meals at home. We don’t need it when we go out for a run. Here’s something I do now: I go for a walk without my phone. I know it sounds ridiculous to present that as some big achievement, but for me it was. It’s like exercise. It takes effort.

4. Don’t keep checking you phone

Don’t press the home button to check the screen every two minutes for texts. Practise feeling the urge to check and don’t.

5. Don’t link your joy to your phone battery

Don’t tie your anxiety levels to how much power you have left on your phone.

6. Don’t swear at your phone

Don’t plead with your phone. Don’t bargain with your phone. Don’t throw your phone across the room. It is indifferent to your feelings. If the phone has no signal, or no power, it is not because it hates you. It is because it is an inanimate object. It is, in short, a phone.

7. Don’t put your phone by the bed

I’m not judging, by the way. Most people sleep with their smartphone by the bed because they’ve replaced alarm clocks. Most nights I have the phone by the bed. My parents have their phones by the bed. Everyone I know has their phones by their beds. Maybe one day our beds will be our phones. But I do seem to sleep better when my phone isn’t by my bed. You know, if it’s in another room, or even just another part of the room. I know it might be unrealistic. But it’s good to have an aspiration. A dream to work towards. To fantasise about the day when we’re strong enough never to need to have the phone by our beds. Like the olden days. The 1800s. The 1900s. 2006.

8. Practise app minimalism

An overload of apps and options adds to the choice but also stress of smartphone use. We are given an almost infinite array of things we can add to our phones. But more choice leads to more decisions and more stress. You were born without any apps on your phone. Hey! Guess what? You were born without any phone at all. And life was still beautiful.

9. Don’t try to multitask

We have phones that can do everything from map read to tune our guitars, and it’s tempting to imagine that we can do as many things, and all at once. For instance, while writing this one point alone I have had to consciously stop myself from checking my emails, checking my text messages, checking my social media. It took effort. According to neuroscientist Daniel Levitin, we aren’t really made for the kind of multitasking the internet age encourages us to do. ‘Even though we think we’re getting a lot done, ironically, multitasking makes us demonstrably less efficient,’ he writes, in The Organized Mind: Thinking Straight in the Age of Information Overload. Multitasking creates a dopamine-addiction cycle, rewarding the brain for losing focus. It can also increase stress and lower IQ. ‘Instead of reaping the big rewards that come from sustained, focused effort, we instead reap empty rewards from completing a thousand little sugar-coated tasks,’ concludes Levitin.

10. Accept uncertainty

The temptation to check your phone is down to uncertainty. That’s what makes it so addictive. You want someone to get back to your text but you don’t know if they have. You want to check. You want to see the promise and mystery of the three little circles, dancing with hope. You want to know how your photo or status update is going down. But why do we need to know right now? Why can’t it all wait till after your lie-in/meeting/walk/TV show/meal/daydream? Do people really need to check their phones during meetings, or while attending funerals? Maybe if we understood that the checking is never fully satisfying we wouldn’t. Because there is no end to the uncertainty. There is no final checking of your smartphone. Think of all the times you checked your phone yesterday. Did you really need to so often? I certainly didn’t. I have definitely cut down, but still have a way to go. How many times do you touch your phone a day? Or look at it? It might be hard to keep count. The answer might be well in the hundreds. Imagine, l say to myself, if you just looked at your phone, say, five times a day. What catastrophe would occur?

The post 10 Ways to Own a Smartphone and Still Be a Functioning Human Being appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

I was both horrified and impressed at that moment. Impressed because she knew that the information was available via the internet, but horrified to realise that she didn’t know there was an even simpler way to discover the truth… I could just look at my measuring cup.

Technology has found its way into almost every aspect of our modern lives. I sit here right now typing away on my ultra thin and lightweight laptop while inside my purse just a foot away, yet another screen is available at a moment’s notice, just in case I’d like to check the weather, reach out to a friend, or watch a movie.

For our children, this is the way things have always been. They aren’t surprised by the fact that my phone can give me step-by-step instructions on how to get to a new friend’s house. Instead, they wonder why we adults are all so freaked out about screen time.

I don’t know any child who would actually rather watch a screen than get out into nature

But the research is clear, excessive screen time is not good for developing brains. In fact, researchers can actually predict a child’s future IQ based on how much of the time he or she sits in front of the television daily. And the result is: the more television hours, the lower the IQ.

So how can we help our children unplug and support their developing brains? I’ve got tips, but you might not like them… here they are.

1. Reduce your own screen time

The first thing to notice is what we’re modelling for our kids. If we spend all day connected to screens, we can hardly expect them to act differently. Their survival depends on following our lead and learning skills from us that they will need to thrive. So if we want our children to limit their screen time, guess what? We have to show them how. Turn off, unplug, and put away your screens. You can start with meal times, or a couple of hours in the evening. You can even go camping or schedule a vacation somewhere without TV/internet access. You could even choose to go on a [gasp!] Facebook diet.

Making interesting fiction and non-fiction books available for children to explore is a great way to entice them away from a screen

2. Offer alternative activities that are more fun

I don’t know any child who would actually rather watch a screen than get out into nature. Taking a walk, hike or bike ride is good for our health, reduces our blood pressure, and helps us relax. Going to a park, beach or studying wildlife can also be a great alternative.

Sometimes spending time in nature can be a spiritually moving and life altering experience. So don’t think you have to have a plan for the whole day; just pack a bag with water and snacks, get outside and see what happens!

I remember a time during college where our class assignment was to observe one square foot of ground for 30 minutes. I thought it would be incredibly boring. And there were moments when it seemed like nothing was happening, but then I’d notice an ant collecting food and I would feel the breeze and the sun would go behind a cloud and everything would change.

3. Books

Sure we can get lots of information online, but there’s nothing quite like the feeling of holding a good book in your hands. Making interesting fiction and non-fiction books available for children to explore is a great way to entice them away from a screen.

We recently checked out a book on science experiments for kids and my daughter is very excited about the experiments we’ve begun. In one simple experiment, we had three bowls of water: one warm, one cold and one at room temperature. The experiment was to put one hand in the warm water and one hand in the cold water for 30 seconds. Afterward, she was instructed to put both hands in the room temperature water and notice how each hand felt. She was amazed at the results. The room temperature water felt cold to her warm hand and warm to her cold hand, even though the water was the same temperature!

Engaging in scientific exploration is a great way to develop critical thinking skills and advance the love of learning.

Wouldn’t it be nice to know that your child can sew on a button, play an instrument, or convert ounces to cups without asking Google?

4. Creative endeavours

Painting, singing, playing music, sculpture, dancing and theatre are all incredibly good for our brains and our bodies. Engaging in creativity uses parts of our brains that go unused when we’re passively watching a screen. And these creative pursuits can be incredibly rewarding too.

It’s quite satisfying to paint around on a canvas or finally master a challenging riff. You may want to get some direct instruction for your child, or you can just let her explore and see where her interests take her.

Engaging in your own creative interests is the best way to encourage your child to develop hers. And even if you don’t consider yourself artistically inclined, it’s good for you and for your child to explore new activities and interests. Maybe there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, or an extension of something you’ve already mastered. Allow your children to witness your own process of creative discovery and support them in theirs.

 5. Food preparation

Including children in food preparation is a wonderful way to introduce them to crucial skills like cutting safely with a sharp knife or using a hot stove. Since you’re there to supervise, you can make sure all the dangers are apparent and you can model safe kitchen practices. Who knows, you may even discover that your child has a hidden talent for cooking or baking!

In addition, you can grow your own garden to help children understand the entire process of cultivating and preparing food. Did you know that micro-organisms found in soil have been shown to significantly increase happiness? These organisms actually affect the serotonin levels in your brain! Besides, there is something so very satisfying about watching a tiny seed grow to maturity and eventually eating the fruits of your labour.

Sure, most of my suggestions require that we adults actually put down our devices, go outside and engage in life in a new way. But isn’t that what we most want for our children? Wouldn’t it be nice to know that your child can sew on a button, play an instrument, or convert ounces to cups without asking Google?

It’s up to us to determine the culture of our own homes and families and if we choose less screen time and more time cooking together, I think we’ll be well on our way to the thoughtful, engaged citizens we dearly hope our children will become.

The post 5 practical ways to reduce your kid’s screen time appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.