Published by: Cognite—an Imprint of Embassy Books

ISBN: 978-9383359660

Pages: 232

Price: INR 250

Death and the afterlife are among the most debated issues, not just today, but forever. Do we go to heaven or hell? Do our loved ones remain in the skies, looking over us? Do they walk among us? What is the journey like? The questions are innumerable, and there are as many answers as there are people. The answers could be religious, spiritual, or philosophical, and there are many tomes which deal with it in detail. Priya Kumar’s latest book deals with the same subject, though in a much simpler, easily readable manner—one that we can all relate to, and actually understand.

I will go with you is a story of 300 passengers and the crew aboard a flight, whose pilot has decided to commit suicide on duty. It might seem, at first glance, to be fatalistic, as well as macabre, but Priya Kumar tells us a story filled with adventure, twists and turns and suspense, intertwined with deep philosophy and as well as discussions on life and death that leads the reader to introspection.

There are 300 passengers on board, but we hear the stories of only those in row 26: Sarah, a writer, struggling to decide whether to trust her boyfriend, or not; Jim, a young man obsessed with technology, who falls in love with Sarah the minute he sets eyes on her; Muttu, a clairvoyant and blogger, the only one who has an inkling of the death that awaits all of them; and Paul, a rich and successful businessman who struggles with questions about life and living in the larger perspective, and who changes his seat from the Business class to join the other three on Row 26 in Economy, thus leading to the conversations which enable him to finally get answers to his questions, albeit at the very end of his life.

In this book, Priya Kumar lives up to her reputation of being a stellar story-teller who has developed a keen knack of inspiring people even as she entertains them. Her wisdom flows through in the dialogues by Muttu, the most evolved character of this story.

This is an intriguing story that combines the heavy questions of life, death and everything in between, in the form of a suspense thriller. The author intersperses the fictional narrative with bits of philosophical thought, making make us stop and think about the situation, and even  helps us relate them to our own circumstances. In spite of this, the story doesn’t lose its momentum.

The book is aptly titled for it is indeed a journey of a lifetime—for the passengers of the flight as well as for the reader. After all, every journey of life ends in death.

I especially like the end, because it reminded me of a conversation I recently had with my son, where he said that in his opinion, people who die, don’t really go to heaven or hell. They stay back, unseen, with their loved ones, in the form of memories. Priya’s ending, though not exactly the same, brought back that conversation, and I appreciated how she turned the negative emotions into positive ones, by choosing to let her departed characters turn inspirational—for those they loved, as well as those who needed them.

The genre of ‘inspirational suspense’ is new to me, but this is one book I enjoyed reading!

This was first published in the April 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

The post I Will Go With You: The Flight Of A Lifetime By Priya Kumar appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

“What will happen to work when I am gone? How will it go on?” We tend to build these questions towards disastrous consequences and convince ourselves that we are indispensable. We find contentment in remaining ‘switched on’ 24×7 but see catastrophe in even daring to think about switching off for a few days. Over the years, I have learnt that no one is indispensable, and guess what? If that weren’t the truth, then one would be as afraid of taking a vacation as one would be of dying. Given a fair chance, one will find equal talent and dedication in the next co-worker.

I didn’t realise the importance of taking a vacation and time off work until a few years ago, when I found myself forced into a trip with my friends. This was in order to attend a close friend’s wedding in Belgium. Right from the start, there were speculations about my arrival. I have a reputation for last minute drop-outs and by now my family and friends have made peace with my absence. I had cold feet from the time I booked my tickets for the 10-day long vacation. Knowing the wedding scene forward, I anticipated that I would be reprimanded for even using my phone. But I can now admit that those 10 days away from work was the best thing that I had done for myself in years and I vowed to take two weeks out every year to spend time with my family and friends. I realised that the toughest part was in getting there; once there, a new world of adventure opened up.

Here are some useful tips to my fellow workaholics who would rather be at work than anywhere else.

I have found that when people show care and commitment for their job, they get it back bountiful

Involve others in your fear of letting go of work

I could not help but keep rambling about how nervous I was about attending the wedding, knowing there would be reprimand on escaping from late night parties to check my mails and not to mention the time difference. I realised that the more I expressed my discontent about taking the vacation, the more supportive my colleagues became about me taking it. Reverse psychology never seems to get outdated. “Don’t worry, we will handle everything.” When I explained the challenges about not being accessible, they assured me that they would cover for me and contact me only if there was an emergency. I got support in winding up my work and in assigning duties in my absence. I have found that when people show care and commitment for their job, they get it back bountiful.

The first day is tough

I never lifted my head from the time I boarded the plane to the time I reached my hotel, covering as much work as I could. Keeping my phones and laptop out of reach was the toughest thing to do, since I already had warnings about carrying my work into the wedding. I remember taking long bathroom breaks to quickly read my mails and check on work. But the compulsion eased on the second day and continued to decrease in intensity in the days that followed. My need to be on the job all the time diminished and the fact that I had the option to sleep in and not wake up by clockwork was my first delight. I was pleasantly surprised to see that work was actually going on without me and a lot of people got their due importance in my absence.

Because I was occupied from the time I woke up to the time that I went to sleep, work stayed off my mind

Different time zones or low connectivity helps switch off

The one thing that really worked for me was the time difference between India and Europe. It helped ease my nerves about work and made me feel less guilty for having fun at work hours. When I would wake up, the team was already ahead of me and I just needed the half hour of my morning tea-time to see that all was in order and continue the rest of the day in peace. My phone calls turned into instant messages and then my messages turned into one or two emails a day. And by day four, I was officially off work. I have kept this as a tip when I plan my vacations, the further the distance and the greater the time difference, the better it is for me to really get off work and unwind. And when taking a vacation in India, I choose places with low connectivity, such as mountains, wildlife sanctuaries and cruises, so the reach between my work and me is limited.

Pack adventure into your vacation

Because I was occupied from the time I woke up to the time that I went to sleep, work stayed off my mind. We had sightseeing trips, lunches, dinners, parties and shopping sprees all planned and timed. As a person who works non-stop, I have so much energy and if I don’t plan how to expend it at my vacation, I will naturally get back to work. Now when I schedule time-off, I make sure to plan the adventure first. So even though I’m not working, I’m onto something equally exciting and that keeps my ever-ticking mind and creativity going. I have noticed that every vacation that I return from, I find a whole new perspective at work, a perspective that adds greater value, for I had the distance to see that which the proximity didn’t allow.

A vacation is something that is a reminder that there is a life beyond work

Great ideation opportunity

Take advantage. Every vacation has given me immense takeaways that my otherwise busy life disallowed. I could ideate without the pressure of having to do so. I could understand better, being away from the tension and appreciate even the slips and falls that I had been through as a learning curve. Once away from the scene, learning became much easier.

Discovering true happiness

Over the years, being happy had become a challenge. I needed a reason to be happy. So achievement became a necessity towards that end. But when on a vacation, I found happiness without reason, and that is true happiness. The sunrise made me happy, the silence brought joy; the extra sleep brought comfort; and walking in the wilderness brought an elation that no professional accomplishment could even match. This is what I work for—the time and luxury to be free and happy over nothing at all. And I carried that happiness back to work. My colleagues now comment on how I come back calmer and happier after each vacation. My drive was always at a fast pace but my attitude had shifted towards the better.

Value-add to friends and family with your presence

Over the years I had forgotten that I had a responsibility beyond work and that was to add value to the people around me. In spending time with my family it dawned on me how much they valued me and how appreciative they were to spend time with me. They were so eager to learn from my work and me and I could see a mutual exchange of respect in getting to know them better. Over the years the primary reason of going to work [family] had become the secondary reason. I had never known that so many people looked up to me and longed to spend time with me. If my own near and dear ones never get my time, then what good is my work that never served them?

A vacation is not something that comes in the way of work. A vacation is something that is a reminder that there is a life beyond work, a life that we have long forgotten under the daily pressures and professional expectations. If someone told you that you would never get time off when you started out with your job, I can bet my life you would never take it. As much as work is important, so is your life. The ability to ‘switch off’ is as important as the necessity to remain ‘switched on’. Even a machine needs its down time, and you being the one that literally makes your world go round, need that vacation. Take it as a part of your job profile. For, if you don’t discover the ability to switch off, you won’t remain ‘on’ for long.

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While it is true that older employees bring in experience and security, one can’t ignore the big glaring gap and disconnect in terms of technology, communication and changing business norms initiated by the young generation of professionals. The trouble starts when the older employee finds himself reporting to a boss who probably entered kindergarten when he graduated college. I see a lot of young bosses intimidated by the age of their juniors, who are actually elder to them. This disconnect is evident in the inhibited communication and consequential lowered results in performance in a team where the elders are led by younger bosses.

How does one then span the chasm that bares open the cultural protocol of ‘obey your elders’ and ‘experience is important for success? How does the boss establish his/her position of earned power without offending the seniority of those who have been around longer than him/her? How does one handle errors on part of those with experience without humiliating them for being reprimanded by a boss who is far younger? How does one empower and encourage those to whom one actually looks up to by sheer virtue of age?

For the young daring professional who steps up to stand above the toughened and experienced subordinate, leading him and the organisation where the futures of both are safe—consider these tips.

Review skills and knowledge regularly to address the gap

There has been a general acceptance that experience adds value in decision-making. However, with the current economy being so unpredictable, new and unforeseen developments occur almost everyday. Knowledge then gets priority over experience. Hence, the emphasis should be on constant upgradation of knowledge.

Encourage the elder subordinates to adorn their experience by keeping themselves abreast with technological developments and global viewpoints on business and social trends.

Sensitise the elders towards technology by educating them on how it would help them save time, minimise errors and connect them virtually making work easier. I see an inherent keenness on the part of the elder employees to learn new things so that they feel assimilated and get a sense of belonging. When your interest in filling them in with ‘what’s new’ is expressed, they speedily catch on.

Maintain courtesy in all interactions with the employee

Our culture lays a lot of emphasis on respect for the elders. Whether junior or senior, social protocol states, elders must be dealt with respect and courtesy. No matter what the flavour of the day, maintain a good demeanour towards the elders who work for you. Respect should be reciprocal. As much as they deserve to be respected you can only earn your respect by giving it to them first. Sometimes young bosses fear that respect shown may be misconstrued as being submissive. Giving respect does not mean giving in. Giving respect is also a part of being professional.

Elders take well to junior bosses when they are dealt with respect, because it gives them a hope of a promising future for their children. They feel that if you have made it so far and so big, so could their children.

Have an agreement on working style

An error on part of a very senior employee can create unwanted mis-emotion if handled by the young boss tactlessly. The elder subordinate feels a greater sense of shame for being reprimanded by someone younger than him, than for his actual folly.

The pressures in every industry are immense and so it becomes pressingly important to have mutually agreed upon working styles with your whole team, especially the elder subordinates. It is important to practice your poise and calm as well as be a tad stern whether times are rosy or distressed. Its all good when the going is great, but it is when the pressure mounts and the stakes are high that a tight ship needs to be run and at that time courtesy may need to edge towards being demanding.

Recognise and acknowledge that there will be discords and errors and at that moment you will have to rise to the occasion and step up acting out of your position as a senior. Establish clearly that even if the employees may be skeptical of your judgments, what you say and do, the decisions you make will be with regard to the highest interest to the organisation and careers of everyone involved. It must be made known that you have earned your stripes and that your words and vision be taken objectively with due respect to your seniority.

Do mention that you do not aim at being the sole visionary and hence encourage them to share their vision and ideas but, you will do what you think is in the best interest for all.

Do emphasise that even when you do disagree, it bears no indication towards the respect that you have for them.

It is important to establish the seniority and the demands your position carries before you, which might compel you to exercise superiority. So when a situation of being ‘bad cop’ does arrive, it does not put an older subordinate in a rife of confusion.

Handle ego and insecurities sensitively

The younger generation is arbitrarily believed as impulsive, on the contrary, older generation is perceived to bring the promise of stability and calm. It might be significant to establish superiority however ensure that the elders are appreciated and encouraged as much as the youngsters. It is a wrong notion that encouragement and appreciation should flow from the elders to the youngsters. In fact, it is most notable that encouragement should be equivalent. At work, don’t ignore the elders or deprive them of the pat on the back, a kind word to uplift them or plain empower them when needed.

In making an extra effort to compliment your seasoned subordinates, you would add more security and productivity towards their jobs. The high churn rate of youngsters and the speedy advances in technology causes a lot of insecurity in the minds of the older employees. They begin to doubt their ability to cope and that inhibition does not allow them to open up to learn.

When you begin to appreciate and acknowledge them where deserved, they become more receptive to learning. As a young boss when you begin to take interest in bridging the generation gap at work, your relationship with your own parents stands a chance to take a positive turn. I see parents of young bosses effortlessly keep up with the world and also have a bright and positive outlook towards life and work.

Establish seniority

An older employee who might be much junior in position might be easily tempted to dismiss a younger boss because our cultural upbringing has engrained the concept of ‘obey the elders’ in us to the point that might surmount our rationale. Establish in the start itself, with due respect, that you will consider all advise but will take a decision based on your view of the organisation. Make sure you convey that you have more access to a broader vision and wider frame of information. You will make decisions after evaluating everything from a holistic angle.

When explained logically and when an agreement is established, the taboo of the disobedient ‘youngster’—the young boss, is broken.

Older people at work need to be handled with care. They come with their own set of issues and insecurities. A steep career climb might be a huge challenge for a younger boss to maintain. However, the changing face of leadership has prolific advantages as well. The era of the elders being in power has ended. Boundaries of distance, space and age have been dissolved. Some barriers still exist in terms of non-optimum communication and misunderstood professional concepts. When these are handled with tact, the young boss becomes a beneficiary of both the worlds—the stability and assurance of the old, and the funk and adventure of the new.

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