What anxiety feels like

Your heart races; you get the sweats; your mind is uncontrollable, racing or forgetful; it’s difficult to concentrate. Your adrenal glands work overtime and you frequently have a “fight and flight” reaction. You feel as if at any moment you could malfunction or explode, so you avoid situations and people. Your emotions are out of control; the panic overcomes you and you may feel disconnected from your surroundings, dizzy, sick in the stomach, or have chest pains. Your sleep and appetite are disrupted, leaving you feeling unwell and exhausted. You get the drift…

How anxiety affects your life

Anxiety may impact your work, your relationships, your belief in yourself, and your trust in life. Many people with anxiety self-medicate or attempt to escape with drugs or alcohol which, in turn, lead to neurotransmitter imbalances in the brain. You feel mental, but you are not! You are a victim of circumstances; you are only suffering because an intolerable situation in your past has become deeply ingrained in your subconscious.

What causes anxiety

At the heart of most anxiety is trauma, sometimes from as long as 10 or 20 years ago. But the impact of the trauma is deeply ingrained in your subconscious, causing a fear-based belief system that has changed your perception of life while affecting your speech, behaviour, and reality.

Some possible reasons for your anxiety could be

1. Childhood abuse [physical, verbal or sexual]
2. Witnessing a traumatic incident
3. Being involved in a car accident
4. Negative thinking [habitual]
5. Abusive relationship [past or current]
6. Diagnosed conditions: Depression, OCD, PTSD, Personality Disorders, Bi-Polar, etc.,
7. Acquired brain injury or large blow to head
8. Past heavy drug or alcohol abuse
9. Past bullying
10. Past trauma when you felt powerless – Event or natural disaster

Impact of trauma

When traumatised, you will often have flashbacks, sleep disruption, nightmares; you will avoid people and places; you will feel anger, guilt, shame, low self-esteem, hopelessness, and maybe even get thoughts of committing suicide.

When you have significant trauma, your body replays the traumas like a record player that is stuck – your trauma plays over and over. As a consequence, your body gets trapped in the world of triggers. You may find yourself becoming hyper-vigilant, fearful, jumpy, on edge, and of course, angry. It doesn’t take much, and you are like a volcano erupting. Standard counselling techniques may not be enough to end this torment. Your anxiety may be the result of years of trauma, or it could be a part of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder [PTSD], where you have been in a life/death situation. Maybe you didn’t view an event as serious, but your mind/body are still having trouble resolving and processing this. You need an expert in trauma; someone who is trained in treating PTSD, or someone who works on three levels: Mind, Subconscious Mind and Body.

Coping with anxiety: 10 things you can do to help yourself right now

Listen to and challenge your thoughts

With over 70,000 thoughts per day, this is going to be a challenge. You have been programmed by friends, family, teachers, and the media, to see yourself and life a certain way—either negative or positive. You are also programming yourself every day. When coping with anxiety, it’s vital to listen to your thoughts, to ensure you are not criticising yourself or making incorrect assumptions about circumstances. You may need help, using CBT [Cognitive Behaviour Therapy] with a counsellor or psychologist, to improve your thoughts, to ensure you don’t get into the habit of ‘black and white’ thinking, etc., which inflames anxiety further.

Walk

Aim for at least three 30-minute brisk walks per week to improve the balance of serotonin and dopamine in your brain—these are essential for improving your sense of wellbeing. Also, when you exercise, you are actively reducing cortisol, which is a stress hormone that makes anxiety worse. In addition, exercise creates endorphins, which is nature’s way of making you feel great and make you emotionally more resilient.

Give your body rest

Anxiety causes an overload on many of your organs, your nervous system, and your adrenal glands. Try listening to music or using meditation to slow down or distract yourself from erratic thoughts. Take time out daily—just for you—to focus on relaxation, your hobbies and rejuvenating. Support your overwhelmed body to stay well and avoid illness, common in anxiety. Rest the body, and the mind will follow.

Eat healthy and regular meals

Quality carbohydrates and proteins improve your serotonin levels, ensuring that you have continued strength and your blood sugar levels are more consistent. Many people with anxiety skip meals, and don’t eat well, adding to the overload on the body. Never do that.

Sit in the sun

Aim for 15 minutes in the sun daily. This is great to help you absorb vitamin D, and make you more relaxed. Being kind to yourself is key to changing your life. Start with small steps, and these will soon become big steps.

Live for you

Constantly ask yourself, “What do I feel like doing right now?” Too many people live for others, leaving them feeling controlled or overwhelmed. When you feel unheard, disrespected or manipulated, this sense of powerlessness only adds to your fatigue, and contributes to anxiety. Take your power back.

Ask for help

Healthy emotional boundaries are important in improving our emotions. If you need help, reach out for help. Anxiety is exhausting, and you may need help in many areas of your life, while you are transitioning.

Stop being so hard on yourself

You didn’t ask to be traumatised, did you? No one asks for anxiety. This happened to you. It’s not your fault, but you can get help. You are not inadequate; you are suffering. You usually can’t fix this alone. Reach out for help.

See your doctor

See your doctor and ask for the Mental Health Plan [where available], so that you may get FREE [or subsidised] 6-10 sessions with a psychologist who specialises in trauma and anxiety. The doctor may recommend medication to improve an imbalance of neurotransmitters in your brain, such as Serotonin or Dopamine.

Go deep—get professional help for your trauma with a specialist

Following are three techniques that can help reduce trauma, by working not just with thoughts…but working with the mind, the Subconscious mind and the body. These ‘deep’ methods have caused many [including myself] to experience profound healing and change. Feel free to Google or YouTube these techniques, to learn more and find the psychologist/therapist in your area that specialises in one of these three techniques:

1. Somatic Therapy [Founder Peter Levine]: Learn to heal trauma by working with a somatic trained therapist to regulate emotions and body, in the here and now.
2. EMDR Eye Movement De-sensitisation [Founder Dr Shapiro]: Learn to heal trauma by re-processing the memories in the subconscious, by working with a therapist trained in EMDR.
3. Brainspotting [Founder David Grand]: Learn how the eyes and subconscious work together to find the spots of trauma in the subconscious, then release and re-process these emotions and trauma by working with a therapist trained in Brainspotting.

Healing the past

20 years ago, I was in crisis, so I know how it feels. I want you to really enjoy your life and experience more peace, control and happiness without experiencing daily panic and anxiety. My second book Are You Listening? Life is Talking to You has helped many feel re-connected to life again. It all starts with you… I want you to have the best life possible, and for that reason, I spent five years writing this book – for those in crisis. With these tools, and with a little help from a trauma expert, healing is possible. May your love for yourself and your life deepen more daily.

The post Coping with anxiety: 10 things you can do to help yourself right now appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

This story is one of the many that I encounter. Even with a healthy pregnancy, many expectant mothers experience anxiety bordering on panic. She could be overjoyed and looking forward to the arrival of her newborn and yet be riddled with doubt about her ability as a mother. The timing of the pregnancy may have an impact, too. It could mean cutting down on work or even resigning, financial setbacks and not to mention the frustration of lagging behind in your career.

It is natural that pregnant women will be concerned about the safety of their unborn child. And we would think that cutting edge medical imagery should help calm the nerves. Yet, paradoxically, in many cases the aggressive and often mandatory testing throws up more doubts about the health of the child. Ultrasounds and 3D imaging have an important role to play in managing the complications of pregnancy. But, they also increase the stress in parents. I often come across pregnant women who have whipped themselves into a panic over test results which showed only a modicum of deviation from normal. No amount of explanation will calm them down. One woman repeatedly ran to her obstetrician the moment she felt that she could not sense the baby’s movements.

In many cases the aggressive and often mandatory testing throws up more doubts about the health of the child

Otherwise stable and intelligent women seem to become puddles of anxious anticipation during pregnancy. I don’t blame them. Being responsible for a little being within you without having consistent and continuous access to what’s happening inside can be scary. However if this is not addressed during pregnancy, the depression may continue even after delivery and take the form of post partum depression.

Do we blame it on the hormones?

A lot of these emotional reactions are often a result of increasing levels of oestrogen and progesterone. Pregnancy is a hormonal circus. Hormones work their magic to help us conceive, keep the baby healthy, aid in labour, delivery and in nursing our child. The downside is that they also make us moody… very moody. A pregnant woman could wake up happy and, in a matter of minutes, could get downright cranky because the tea that was lovingly made by her partner did not turn out to her liking. Hormones can make us more prone to anxiety and panic.

Hormonal changes during pregnancy may also cause fluid retention, weight gain and hyperpigmentation of the face, neck and inner thighs. These unsightly changes can further have a depressing effect on a woman’s mood. To add to it, if the husband is unaware of what changes to expect and how to respond to his wife, she could wrongly perceive it as lack of support. Pregnancy jokes made by insensitive friends don’t help matters either—and the expectant mother ends up with the perfect recipe for depression.

Otherwise stable and intelligent women seem to become puddles of anxious anticipation during pregnancy

Feeling overwhelmed

Depression could be physiological, brought on by the hormonal variations or could be a result of feeling overwhelmed with the whole gamut of changes brought on by the pregnancy with no access to coping techniques. Some of the other precipitating factors could be complications in the previous pregnancy or even a previous miscarriage, physical or emotional abuse, infertility, low income, stressful life events such as death, moving homes, work pressure or divorce.

Whatever the cause, depression during pregnancy is common and unfortunately very easily dismissed by doctors and family members alike. Often, the pregnant lady is told that it will go away after she takes one look at the baby. The truth is far from it. If the depression is not managed well, it can continue even after the baby arrives. Depression during pregnancy is characterised by crying spells, restlessness, preoccupation with negative thoughts, mood swings, trouble concentrating, poor or excessive sleep and appetite and constant and extreme fatigue which may continue well after the baby is born.

If the depression is not managed well, it can continue even after the baby arrives

So what can you do?

Here are nine tips that can help you prevent or manage the emotional upheavals associated with pregnancy.

1. Assess your readiness as a couple to have the child. Is your marriage on sound footing? Have both of you spoken about and found a resolution/compromise to the issues you have with each other? Are you having a baby because you want one or is it family pressure that you are yielding to? Having this conversation with yourself and with your spouse can clarify the thoughts behind you seeking or going ahead with parenthood. The more ready you are, the more accepting you will be of the changes involved and the more motivated you will be to seek solutions to the accompanying emotional upheaval.
2. Become part of a pre-natal class. It will make you more aware about the different issues involved in pregnancy—physical, emotional and medical. The pre-natal class will also equip you with skills to cope with the changes during gestation.
3. Make sure you plan your day in a way that allows you to get adequate sleep and rest. Packing your day from daybreak till bedtime will only tire you physically and mentally. Remember that ‘You come first’.
4. Exercise regularly. Not only does it keep you physically fit but also releases endorphins which are happy hormones that work to elevate your mood. Meditate regularly.
5. Plan at least one activity every day that gives you pleasure. It could be gardening, reading, going for a drive, watching a favourite show or listening to your favourite music. Or some music specially suited to pregnancy.
6. Avoid seeking information about pregnancy related complications on the Internet. Have minimal contact with people who foster negativity in you.
7. Do household chores as a couple. Doing things together with the father of your child can be an enjoyable and wonderful bonding process.
8. Share your feelings of anxiety, fear or sadness with a trusted friend or family member. Join a support group. It helps to spend time with other expecting moms who might be going through feelings similar to yours. The solutions that come out of these discussions can help calm you down.
9. Do not hesitate to seek professional help to ascertain how serious your depression is and if it will require medication and/or counselling support.

The post “I Am Pregnant, But Not Feeling Happy About It” appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.