I remember meeting my father’s accountant many years ago in the 1980’s. He was  charming and oozed charisma. As a keen student of human behaviour, I would admire his traits and wish that perhaps some day I could be liked and respected as he was.

Now, decades later, I have identified five core elements of people with charisma. These are not traits that you are necessarily born with, but are habits you can develop with practice.

They smile a lot

Charismatic people are not stingy with their smiles. They smile easily and naturally, and even to strangers or in challenging situations. It’s a part of who they are. Think of a person that you know is charismatic and I’m sure their smiling face is what you will remember. Even though it takes more facial muscles to frown than to smile, some people seem to prefer the former! The smile of the charismatic person can be seen as a welcoming and comforting beacon of energy.

They have a positive attitude

Setbacks hit us all. Failures, disappointments and down times often lead people to viewing situations with a negative attitude. Charismatic people often have a great attitude, looking at failure as an opportunity to learn, adapt and grow. They know how to take action, viewing failure as a signpost for a new direction. When working in a team or group, charismatic people will often attempt to lift their colleagues up from the floor of disappointment. To charismatic men and women, attitude really is everything.

They know to focus their attention

When you are in conversation with a charismatic person, they are totally engrossed and attentive to what you are saying. You can almost feel that you are the only person in the room when they are speaking to you. It makes you feel special and important, emotions that we all like to feel. They maintain eye contact and are not fidgety or distracted by the environment or their phone. Time can seem to disappear when you talk to a charismatic person, as they can be very charming, interesting and oozing with positive energy. Think of the opposite as being with someone who is blaming, complaining and judging the world constantly, whilst wearing a scowl on their face! This can be energetically draining for you.

Their confidence is high

Charismatic individuals generally don’t pay attention to what people are thinking about them. They exude confidence and have a good level of self-esteem. You can tell this by the way they speak, and also the vocabulary that they use. They don’t like to gossip or put people down. They also take no pleasure in seeing other people feel bad about themselves in general conversations or social situations. Because they are confident, they will not try and have the last word, or even have any need to be ‘correct’ in a discussion. This reveals their high degree of self-awareness. And remember, nobody is born with high confidence. Increasing your confidence is a daily exercise and it’s about choosing to the do the very things you feel nervous or self-conscious about.

They enjoy having fun

Last but not least, charismatic people like to have fun. They don’t mind being the butt of jokes, often having a self-deprecating sense of humour. They like to live in the fully utilised now [F.U.N.], and enjoy every moment and challenge that life can throw at them. Because of this element of fun in their life, they tend to be a magnet for people who are on that similar wavelength of fun. A charismatic person will not publicly complain about any problems in their life, rather always focussing on that fun, and opportunity seeking feeling of abundance. They are sensitive to other peoples feelings of negativity, and try not to introduce any negativity into conversations.

Charismatic people have certain ways of behaving and carrying themselves which makes them insanely likeable. We want to know them, be like them and have friends like them. In many ways, you could describe them as ‘human behaviour at it’s best’.

Pro-tip

Take a journal and ask yourself how you could improve in yourself the five core elements listed above. You could even ask a trusted friend, where you could improve. Self improvement always starts with self awareness.

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And then I got involved with yoga, spirituality and finally Kundalini Yoga. While practising Kundalini Yoga I came to one major conclusion, “If your presence does not work for you, nothing will.” You can have a room with three people in it. Someone walks in, nobody notices him. Or you can have a room with a 1000 people in it and one person walks in, and everyone stops what they are doing to look at this person. What do you think is the difference?

It is the calibre of the person.

When you walk into a room, your aura and your energy field is instantly recognised by every soul in that room. Every one of those souls knows exactly what you are all about. The people in whose body those souls reside may not know it but their souls do.

Haven’t you regretted a relationship or a business deal with someone and told yourself, “Oh, I had a gut feeling about not doing business with him and I should have listened to it.” That was your soul talking to you and telling you what it read about the energy of the other person.

So, all those years that I spent trying to ‘learn’ things to better my business skills were a waste of my time. Whether you want to impress your boss, your girlfriend or people around you in general, you should know that all of that is possible if you understand the meaning of calibre. Perfecting your calibre not only attracts people to you but also brings abundance, bliss and joy into your life.

We all have an aura—a magnetic field. Our actions determine whether this field will expand with time and keep expanding or it will shrink down to the bare minimum on account of those actions.

There are six fundamental truths to expanding your magnetism:

Honesty

Living an honest life, not lying to anyone, not cheating anyone and never coveting what does not belong to you, expands your aura. Every time you cheat someone or grab something that is not yours, it shrinks your magnetic field.

Humility

When you look at another soul, what are your thoughts? If you feel you are superior or are condescending to them, hurt their feelings out of your pride, you automatically shrink your aura. Being humble and living with grace is one of the most powerful ways to expand your aura.

Intention

When you meet someone, do you want something out of him or her? When you advise a client, do you have their interest at heart or do you just want to squeeze them off their money? When you say I love you to your loved one, are you being authentic or are you expecting something in exchange? You wear your agenda on your sleeve. Souls around you sense your intention and are immediately repulsed with ulterior motives and shenanigans. Having pure and clean intentions attracts positive energies and gives a big boost to your magnetic field.

Gratitude

You don’t really need to shell out a lot of money to thank someone. When you feel gratitude for someone’s actions deeply from within your heart, it is more than enough. Even if that person is not looking at you or even near you, your soul’s expression of gratefulness creates a wave that reaches that person and is registered with their soul. This flow of grateful energy is expansive and beautiful.

Compassion

This one’s definitely the most powerful. When you have love flowing out from your heart, your soul soars high; almost as if you are levitating. With compassion you heal yourself, cleanse your chakras and purify your soul. This expansion of energy is so powerful that it attracts anything that you wish for or need. Your aura shines and your skin radiates with the glow of love and kindness. Loving is the ultimate booster for our magnetic fields.

Wisdom

Wisdom is not gained from reading self-help books and listening to get-rich-quick audios. Wisdom comes from just knowing the stillness, the silence of your soul. It comes from understanding the texture of your soul and the purpose of your life. The ability to see the simplicity in complexity of life, and bliss even in the pain—that is true wisdom. The wisdom of being in a state of Zen comes from always being in bliss, peace, harmony.

When you adhere to the six truths, you live a life that is continuously evolving, growing and you keep climbing up the spiritual ladder. This adds to your calibre, your charisma, and when people see you they understand the meaning of the phrase “If your presence does not work for you, nothing will.”

The author is a kundalini yoga teacher and founder of www.anahata.in

This was first published in the January 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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