Meeting my baby for the first time

I still recall that moment vividly: the doctor was suturing me and I was thinking that the worst is over and now everything shall be fine. But I was clueless about the impending storm. Before I knew it, postpartum depression hit me like a tornado and it happened even before the doctors shifted me from the OT to my room. Exactly what it was I can’t describe but an overwhelming sadness enveloped me, as if something terrible had happened; I began crying inconsolably for no reason. I spent the next few days either crying or talking gibberish or in complete silence. When I was called to the NICU for the first time to feed my baby, I was emotionless. There was no love at first sight that everyone talks about or that is glorified in the movies. I just stood there staring at my fragile baby, waiting to feel the connection. He looked so tiny like a mouse, but not an emotion stirred in me. I was numb.

The breastfeeding challenges

My baby couldn’t latch at my breast at all and I was asked to express milk. I struggled with the manual pump; what’s worse, the hospital staff did not provide any guidance or support for struggling mothers like me. My baby was straightaway put on formula and I thought, “So now my baby doesn’t even need his mother for his food.”

When we came home, I spent my days staring outside the window, often secretly contemplating jumping to my final freedom. The various psychiatric treatments weren’t helping. Everyone around me had started wondering why I keep crying when everything seemed fine in my life. I heard labels such as ‘crazy’, ‘mad woman’ and ‘hopeless’ being used to describe me. Meanwhile, the insomnia continued. One day my mother gave me a sedative but it didn’t help. I thought may be two would do the trick so I asked her for more, but she refused. No one trusted me with my life, you see.

The turning point

Seeing my plight, a doctor friend of mine sent me a prescription of sedatives for a whole month and said, “Vandana, I trust you.” His trust in me gave me hope. It brought a huge change in my attitude and, ironically, I never took any of those sedatives. I stopped all the psychiatric medicines, as they were not helping me anyway. I decided to take charge of the situation and my husband did everything he could to support me. I hired maids to help with all the chores so that I could focus on healing myself. Most importantly, I cut off all the toxic people from my life.

Babywearing and relactation

I started reading about baby care. I started wearing my baby using a baby wrap and it felt like magic. It was healing me by releasing ‘feel good hormones’ in my body and soothing my baby at the same time. My baby slept on my chest and I had my hands free to do anything I wanted to. I did everything for my baby. Initially, I was doing things mechanically, but gradually the bond developed. I knew I was on the path to recovery.

Next, I started working on relactation. I kept pumping day and night on a military schedule to induce lactation. It was hard but it gave me immense satisfaction and joy as I could feed my baby liquid gold. Everyone discouraged me from pumping, as my baby was thriving well on formula and pumping every two hours was difficult. But I am glad I did it as I won’t have the guilt of not trying. Before I knew it, the depression disappeared and I felt like a normal new mom caring for her baby.

Today I am completely healed of postpartum depression. My son is now three years old and has just started at nursery. I have also started working from home, pursuing my passion for creating art and tutus. Life is full of excitement with no time to rest and I am going with the flow, with hope and gratitude in my heart. I hope that my story gives hope and courage to women going through postpartum depression.

Watch: Depression after childbirth a silent killer in India

The post How I Overcame Postpartum Depression appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Pregnancy causes changes in the breasts which prepare the body for breast feeding. The delivery of the placenta initiates the colostrum [first milk that is produced at the end of pregnancy and just after delivery] and the stimulation provided by the infant helps the milk to mature and then everything progresses very smoothly.

But along the way there are many ifs and buts. Many of these seem to be just hearsay, old wives tales or myths. At times, these can be very confusing for a new mother making her anxious. Breast milk has all the nutrients that a baby requires in the first six months of life. Supplements are not required and even water is not needed. Practices such as placing a drop of honey on a newborn’s tongue should be avoided.

There are only two requisites for increasing the secretion of breast milk:

• Frequent stimulation: By the baby or with the help of a breast pump
• A happy mom: Yes, high stress levels in the mother can reduce milk supply. Breast milk is produced by the action of two hormones – oxytocin and prolactin. Oxytocin is also known as the love / happy hormone. If the mom is anxious and stressed, there is less oxytocin and hence less or no breast milk.

6 Prevalent Myths About Breastfeeding

1. Certain foods can increase breast milk supply

In Indian culture, some foods have been glorified as breastfeeding foods and some others have been given a bad name. There are no special foods which make more milk. Yes, there are some foods like methi [fenugreek], cumin seeds, oats and papaya, which are considered as galactagogues but their main function is to purify the blood and hence improve nutrient absorption.

2. Moms must avoid having anything cold when breastfeeding

Eating cold foods doesn’t make breast milk go cold and if the mother has ice-creams, it doesn’t cause a cold in the baby.  Spicy foods don’t make the milk spicy and foods like chole [chickpeas] don’t cause gas in the baby. It is important that the mother takes a balanced diet and consumes everything in moderation. If the mom is craving a treat like an occasional ice-cream, she should go ahead and have it as it will help her to feel happy and satisfied, which is most essential.

3. Ghee and sugar is a must

For a mother who is breastfeeding, special ladoos are prepared with a lot of ghee and sugar. There are other so-called mandatory ingredients like dry fruits and nuts, edible gum that are surely healthy for the mother. But eating excess ghee and sugar will only cause the mother to gain weight. Remember, women all over the world breastfeed their children and do it without consuming loads of ghee and sugar. Again, moderation is best approach.

4. One top feed at night

Many mothers feel that giving the baby one top feed at night will help the baby to sleep better, but this is not true. It is possible for the baby to sleep well after consuming just breast milk. In the first few days, the baby’s stomach is very small and hence the baby needs to feed often. The supply of breast milk in the first few days is less but enough for the baby. What the baby needs is frequent small feeds and a lot of cuddling. The baby is in a new world and is overwhelmed, hence is fussy and cries often. When the mother holds the baby close to the chest, the baby feels secure and can hear the mother’s heartbeat. This helps the baby to calm down. Mothers may mistake this for the baby being hungry, but in reality the baby is only looking for some comfort.

5. Bottle to the rescue

To give the baby top feed, the mother may also end up using a bottle, which can get the baby hooked on to the bottle. At times, just one or two bottlefeeds can teach the baby that it is easier to feed on the bottle and cause the baby to reject the breast. This itself causes a lot of stress and anxiety to the mother. If top feed is required, it should be given only with the prescription of the pediatrician and it should be given using a small bowl and spoon or a medicine dropper.

6. If the baby suckles it wants more milk

Babies are born with an inborn need to suckle. Being at the breast is not only nutrition but also comfort. The suckling reflex and the tongue thrust action are very strong in the first six months of life. At this time the baby needs to feed at the breast or suckle to satisfy these reflexes. Many times a baby will resort to sucking on the thumb or fingers or even the whole fist. This is a sign that the baby wants to suckle and is not necessarily hungry. It is best to offer the breast frequently in the first few months as this will keep the baby from sucking on thumb and fingers.

A new mother should have a lot of support during the initial period to help her feel that she will be able to produce enough milk. At times, just helping the mother relax will increase the milk supply.

The post Busting the Myths About Breastfeeding appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

If you’re a new mother or know one who has been experiencing these feelings, these may be signs of post partum depression [PPD].

Baby blues v/s PPD

Often, the symptoms of PPD get ignored as they are pushed under the umbrella of ‘baby blues’ or ‘mood swings’. If left undiagnosed and untreated, they can lead to morbid consequences. Hence, it’s important to differentiate between the two.

Baby blues are experienced by a majority of mothers post delivery. Baby blues include crying spells, irritability, anxiety and tiredness prevailing for a few days up to two weeks after delivery. These symptoms do not interfere with the daily functioning of the mother and usually fade away with proper rest, adequate nutrition and family and social support.

PPD is a serious problem where the mother experiences multiple symptoms like exaggerated mood swings, loss of pleasure in day-to-day activities, negative feelings like guilt over inability to take care of the baby, anger towards the baby or the family members, fear of harming the baby and extreme lack of concern towards the baby. The mother also suffers from disturbed sleep, excessive crying, feeling of helplessness or hopelessness, fatigue, lack of concentration, emotional and physical numbness, hyperventilation, anxiety, loss of appetite and intrusive thoughts.

More serious symptoms include homicidal or suicidal ideas. These symptoms could start in the first four weeks or within a couple of months post delivery. The symptoms could put the mother, baby and the entire family through emotional and physical turmoil.

Risk factors

The cause for PPD differs from woman to woman. Most studies attribute genetic vulnerability, drastic hormonal [oestrogen and progesterone] changes and variations in serotonin and norepinephrine [neurotransmitters in the brain] as the main contributors to the disorder.

However, some risk factors play an equally important role in the onset of this disorder. These include:

• Family history of psychological disorders such as anxiety or depression in the mother.
• Lack of partner, family and social support.
• Marital discord, single motherhood, unwanted or unplanned pregnancy, death in the family, stressful life events and premenstrual syndrome.

Premature child birth or child born with mental or physical disability, difficult temperament of the new born baby, financial difficulties, high expectations from oneself, low self-esteem, feeling of unattractiveness and loss of identity are other contributing factors.

Are you experiencing PPD?

Have you delivered a baby recently and

• Feel low, hopeless or depressed?
• Feel absolute lack of interest in carrying out day-to-day activities?
• Experience fatigue or inability to take care of your child?

If you have answered yes to the above questions, you might be experiencing PPD; consult a mental health professional for diagnosis and support.

Overcoming PPD

• Once diagnosed with PPD, educate yourself about it. This will help you identify the symptoms and deal with unhelpful behaviours. Include bibliotherapy in your healing process. Read books about the disorder. American actress Brooke Shields has shared her experience with PPD in her book Down Came the Rain. Reading about the experiences of others will give you the feeling that you are not alone.
• Understand that having a baby is not the end of your identity. It is a new facet to your persona.
• Share your feelings and fears with your spouse, family and friends.
• Spend quality time with your partner and maintain a supportive circle of friends.
• Get a house help to assist you with household chores or taking care of the baby.
• Don’t try to be a super woman—share your responsibilities with others. Have realistic expectations and reasonable demands on yourself.
• Take up at least one pleasurable activity such as listening to music or reading a book every day.
• Don’t plan major transitions during pregnancy or post-delivery such as a new job or moving houses as it adds to the stress.
• If you have a history of depression or other mood disorders, consult a psychiatrist or psychologist before delivery to keep your mood in check and to take preventive measures like therapy.
• Get yourself treated for physiological problems like hormonal imbalance, thyroid, and vitamin deficiencies as they too could be responsible for making you feel down.
• Acknowledge and accept your feelings.
• Stay active. Go for pram-walking with other moms from your neighbourhood.
• Learn to relax. Deep breathing exercises and yoga soothe the mind.
• Take small naps while your baby is sleeping.
• Maintain a schedule to help you complete tasks. Life seems easier, once tasks are manageable.
• Engage in positive self-talk: say to yourself, “I can handle this, well!”
• Don’t blame yourself.
• Write your thoughts down; journaling can help you vent difficult feelings and thoughts.
• Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Pamper yourself with a pedicure or a massage.
• Contact your doctor immediately if you start getting suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming your baby.
• Enlist the help of a professional. Therapy and medication together can work wonders and the sooner you get it the faster you’ll be out of this phase. Antidepressants help in PPD. However, talk to your doctor about the side-effects on you and your baby if you are breast feeding. A therapist can help you deal with the new role of a mother and the stress factors that come along with it. Therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy, interpersonal therapy, marital therapy, family therapy, group therapy, and support groups have proved to be helpful.
• Follow the instructions of your health care provider.

New mothers could also be affected by other mental disorders such as postpartum panic disorder and postpartum obsessive compulsive disorder. But the good news is that these are curable. In the words of Kahlil Gibran: “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest soul.” So don’t give up the fight until you triumph.

The post Delivered from depression appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.