Ground yourself

When you feel like your thoughts are racing and you can’t think clearly, or you find yourself acting without thinking things through, it can be helpful to spend a few moments actively grounding yourself. If you are wearing high heels or tight shoes, remove them discreetly and place both your feet on the floor. Make sure your body weight is evenly divided and send all your mental energy down your body. Feel the solid ground under your feet.

Unplug

These days, we simply have too much stimulation happening at once. Try to unplug and put away all your gadgets for at least five minutes and just be in silence without screens, phones, music, documents or other things that require you to take in new information. Rest in this space where you can process what is already on your plate, without having to take in even more.

Journal

When feeling stressed, it is easy to get caught up in what is right in front of you, and lose track of your values and what is really important. Journaling is a great and easy way to reconnect with yourself to instantly feel calmer. One great practice is to write in a stream-of-consciousness where you set a timer for 5 – 10 minutes and write continuously about what is on your mind until the timer beeps. Another simple practice for instant calmness is to write a list of what is worrying you, or what you have to remember. Keep the list close and add to it throughout your day. Remind yourself that you don’t have to think about these things right now, and that you will deal with them later.

Put away all your gadgets for at least five minutes and just be in silence without screens, phones, music, documents or other things

Connect with nature

If you have a lunch break or 10 minutes to spare, try to spend it connecting with nature. For maximum impact, go outside to get some air, feel the sun on your skin or take a short walk in a park or green area.

If going outside isn’t an option for you, you could keep a plant or flowers on your desk, a stone or seashell in your drawer, or even listen to soundtracks of birds or the ocean. Nature can help give you a break from the stressful environment and quickly calm you down.

Breathe

Research on deep mindful breathing shows immediate benefits for your physical and mental health. However, you probably already know how relaxing and calming it feels when you inhale deeply, hold for a few seconds, and exhale mindfully. If you have five to ten minutes to fully devote to focused breathing that’s wonderful, but remember that this is a simple tool you can use any time, anywhere. Great places to stop and breathe are in the elevator, at the water cooler, in your car, or discreetly through your nose to calm yourself down during a busy meeting.

Spend some time alone

With population growth, urbanisation and the highly debatable efficiency of open space work areas, we rarely spend time alone any more. However, as with unplugging, spending just a tiny amount of time alone can work wonders on your body and mind, giving them a pause from overwhelming sensory stimulation and information. If you don’t have many places to be alone, try the balcony, the staircase, library or a coffee shop in your neighbourhood.

If you have 10 minutes to spare, spend it connecting with nature

Soothe your senses

Using your senses and stimulating them in a soothing way is a simple and flexible strategy to instantly feel calmer. On the go, try a drop or two of essential oil on your wrists, a piece of dark chocolate, or play your favourite song. If you have a little more time, create a visually relaxing environment, and give yourself a massage. Small and easy strategies like these can help a lot, especially over time when you form a stronger association between the sensory input and the relaxation response.

Move your body

Physical activity is great to relieve stress. And no, you don’t need to do a full workout. Even a few minutes of stretching, soft yoga or getting up from your desk to walk around the office can help you relax. In her TED talk, psychologist Amy Cuddy from Harvard Business School suggests that just a few simple tweaks to your body language can change your body’s chemistry and balance hormones.

The next time you feel your calmness fly out the window, try one of these simple practices. Only by experimenting with different tools can you find something that works for you. And don’t forget, when you’re in the need of a little extra feeling of control in your busy day, raise your arms above your head in a “winner” pose. The theory is, if you use your body as if you are confident and relaxed, chances greatly improve that you will be.

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Published by: Little, Brown and Company [December 22, 2015]

ISBN: 978-1409156024

Pages: 352

Price: INR 415

Haven’t we all been in situations where we were expected to present our strongest and most confident self—like a job interview, or a business presentation, or a competitive athletic event? These very moments that demand your best also cause anxiety and self-doubt, making you feel powerless, often leading you to walk away with regret, wishing you could have done better.

In Presence, Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy expands on her popular TED talk about adopting confident body postures, or “power poses”, to bring your best self to social and professional situations.

Instead of just a collection of poses to practise in front of a mirror, the author takes us on a journey to learn to nurture our authentic selves and to overcome the damage that Impostor Syndrome inflicts on us. She also offers some practical approaches to take control of the challenging situations we might find ourselves in. The book collects real-life anecdotes from everyday folks who have surmounted difficult situations by being present and by practising the power postures that worked for them.

What is “Presence”? We’ve all read about mindfulness, being present in the moment, bringing our authentic selves to every situation, but the author gives a simple yet accessible definition: “Presence, as I mean it throughout these pages, is the state of feeling connected with our own thoughts, values, abilities and emotions, so that we can better connect with the thoughts, values, abilities and emotions of others.”

In other words, if we can train our speech and nonverbal behaviour to be in tune with our beliefs, abilities and values, we can achieve a synchronised inner state that can then reflect outwards.

Referring to psychologist William James’ body-mind theory of emotions, the author shares an assertion that struck the deepest nerve with her: “I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’m happy because I sing.” This eye-opening idea, attributed to James back in late 1800s, asserts that bodily experiences cause emotions, not the other way around. This is the basis for proposing that physical power poses can, in fact, alter the emotional state.

A research study shared in the book states that by adopting behaviours that emulate power and strength, the testosterone levels increase while the cortisol levels decrease, priming our mind for potential success. Much like “Fake it till you make it” principle, once you start practising expansive “power poses”, the biochemistry can help transform the fear and anxiety to excitement and intensity that helps us navigate the tough situation with confidence.

A few of the poses shared in the book might seem frivolous at first glance—like, the Wonder Woman pose with arms at the hips and legs planted firmly apart—but, by expanding our body laterally [and/or vertically] we give ourselves power to be there, to occupy that space and own it, much like dominance display in animal kingdom.

Postures such as slouching and hunching, sitting with arms wrapped around the body or placed on lap make us look small and thus feel subordinate—as if we don’t belong in that space, in that moment. However, the author is quick to point out how certain poses might be offensive in other cultures and cautions us to use it for our own self affirmation rather than to project superiority.

While talking about personal power, the author shares the disturbing results from a study done with kids aged four to six that reveals a strong male-power gender bias. She challenges us to change it by changing the stereotypes that our kids are exposed to. Powerful poses are not exclusively masculine, and powerless postures are not necessarily feminine—we are not encouraging women to be men with such power poses. Adopting a triumphant posture is not about competing with others but to accept one’s own strength and personal power in a given situation.

When we focus less on how others might be judging us and more on fully inhabiting the moment—feeling neither threatened or dominant—we are thoughtfully engaging with the present, and therefore we experience personal power.

The author points out that presence is not a continual state of being but a moment-to-moment experience which we can tweak through body language, behaviour and mind-set. The ideal effect of presence in a challenging situation, as the author puts it, is to execute your role with comfortable confidence and synchrony, and walk away with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, regardless of the measurable outcome. That is true personal power.

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