Only through making decisions do you become more and more conscious, more crystallised, only through decisions do you become more sharp. Otherwise you become dull.
People go on from one guru to another, from one master to another, from one temple to another—not because they are great seekers but because they are incapable of decision. So they go from one to another. This is their way to avoid commitment.
Hit-and-run love affairs
The same thing happens in human relationships, a man goes from one woman to another. People think he is a great lover—he is not a lover at all. He is trying to avoid any deep involvement because with deep involvement, problems have to be faced; much pain has to be gone through. So one simply plays safe; one makes it a point never to fall deeply for somebody. If you fall too deep you may not be able to come back easily. And if you go deeply into somebody, somebody else will go deeply into you—it is always proportionate. It is a give and take, a sharing. Then one may get entangled too much, and it will be difficult to escape and the pain may be much. So people learn how to play safe; they just let surfaces meet and have hit-and-run love affairs. Before you are caught, you run.
This is what is happening in the modern world. People have become so juvenile, so childish; they are losing all their maturity.
Maturity comes only when you are ready to face the pain of your being; maturity comes only when you are ready to take the challenge. And there is no greater challenge than to love.
To live happily with another person is the greatest challenge in the world. It is very easy to live peacefully alone, it is very difficult to live peacefully with somebody else, because two worlds collide, two worlds meet—two totally different worlds.
How are they attracted to each other? Because they are totally different, they are almost polar opposites.
The other—a reflection of you
It is very difficult to be peaceful in a relationship, but that is the challenge. If you escape from that, you escape from maturity. If you go into it with all the pain, and still continue going into it, then by and by the pain becomes a blessing, the curse becomes a blessing. By and by, through the conflict and friction, crystallisation arises. Through the struggle you become more alert, more aware.
The other becomes like a mirror to you. You can see your ugliness in the other. The other provokes your unconscious, bringing it to the surface. You will have to learn about all the hidden parts of your being and the easiest way to learn is to be mirrored and reflected in your relationship. Easiest, I call it, because there is no other way—but it is hard because you will have to change through it. So much conflict arises.
Pick the unfamiliar
One thing is certain: the past you have lived, so there is nothing to decide there. The known leaves nothing to be decided, only the unknown. Only the unknown should have a call for you because that you have not yet lived; you have not moved in that territory. Move! Something new may happen there. Always decide to go for the unknown, whatsoever the risk, and you will grow continuously.
But when you go on deciding to select the known, you move in a circle with the past again and again. You go on repeating it; you have become a gramophone record.
Postponement is simply stupid. Tomorrow also you will have to decide, so why not today? And do you think that tomorrow you will be wiser than you are today? Do you think that tomorrow you will be livelier than today? Do you think that tomorrow you will be younger than today, fresher than today?
Tomorrow you will be older, your courage will be less; tomorrow you will be more experienced, your cunningness will be more. Tomorrow death will come closer—you will start wavering and being more afraid. Never postpone for tomorrow. And who knows? Tomorrow may come or it may not. If you have to decide, you have to do so right now. Make up your mind. Don’t go on postponing infinitely.
Excerpted from Dang Dang Doko Dang. Courtesy: Osho International Foundation www.osho.com.
This was first published in the September 2014 issue of Complete Wellbeing.