How to love again

Here are simple things you can do to bring your senses back to life and your love life too

Listening into a shellTantra teaches us to be loving towards your body, befriend your body, revere your body, respect your body, take care of your body – it is a gift. Treat it well, and it will reveal great mysteries to you. All growth depends on how you are related to your body.

The second thing Tantra speaks about is the senses. The religions are against the senses. They try to dull the senses and sensitivity. And the senses are your windows into reality. So eyes have not to be closed, eyes have to be opened rightly. Eyes have not to be destroyed. Ears have not to be destroyed because all these sounds are divine. These birds are chanting mantras. These trees are giving sermons in silence.

Tantra teaches that the senses are the doors of perception. They have been dulled. You have to drop that dullness; your senses have to be cleansed. Your senses are like a mirror which has become dull because so much dust has gathered upon it. The dust has to be cleansed.

Others say: Dull your senses, kill your taste! Tantra says: Taste the divine in every taste. Others say: Kill your capacity to touch. Tantra says: Flow totally into your touch, because whatsoever you touch is divine. It is a total reversal of the so-called religions. It is a radical revolution – from the very roots.

Touch, smell, taste, see, hear as totally as possible. You will have to learn the language because society has made you forget.

Nurture your senses

Each child is born with beautiful senses. Watch a child. When he looks at something, he is completely absorbed. When he is playing with his toys, he is utterly absorbed. When he looks, he becomes just the eyes. Look at the eyes of a child. When he hears, he becomes just the ears. When he eats something, he is just there on the tongue. He becomes just the taste. See a child eating an apple. With what gusto! With what great energy! With what delight! See a child running after a butterfly in the garden. He is so absorbed, in such a tremendous, meditative state – and without any effort. See a child collecting seashells on the beach as if he were collecting diamonds. Everything is precious when the senses are alive. Everything is clear when the senses are alive.

Later on in life the same child will look at reality as if hidden behind a darkened glass. Much smoke and dust have gathered on the glass; everything looks dull and dead. You look at the tree and the tree looks dull because your eyes are dull. You hear a song, but there is no appeal in it because your ears are dull. You can hear the Tantric mystic poetry of a Saraha and you will not be able to appreciate him, because your intelligence is dull.

Reclaim your forgotten language. Whenever you have time, be more in your senses. When you are eating, don’t just eat; try to learn the forgotten language of taste again. Touch the bread, feel the texture of it. Feel with open eyes, feel with closed eyes. While chewing, chew it – you are chewing the divine. Remember it! It will be disrespectful not to chew well, not to taste well. Let it be a prayer, and you will start the rising of a new consciousness in you. You will learn the way of Tantra alchemy.

Free your senses

Touch people more. We have become very touchy about touch. If somebody is talking to you and comes too close, you start moving backwards. We protect our territory. We don’t touch and we don’t allow others to touch; we don’t hold hands, we don’t hug. We don’t enjoy each other’s being.

Go to the tree, touch the tree. Touch the rock. Go to the river; let the river flow through your hands. Feel it! Swim, and feel the water again as the fish feels it. Don’t miss any opportunity to revive your senses. And there are a thousand and one opportunities the whole day. There is no need to have some separate time for it. The whole day is training in sensitivity. Use all the opportunities.

Sitting under your shower, use the opportunity – feel the touch of the water falling on you. Lie down on the ground, naked, feel the earth. Lie down on the beach, feel the sand. Listen to the sounds of the sand, listen to the sounds of the sea. Use every opportunity – only then will you be able to learn the language of the senses again. And Tantra can be understood only when your body is alive and your senses feel.

Free your senses from habits: habits are one of the root causes of dullness. Find out new ways of doing things. Invent new ways of loving. People have fixed habits. Even while making love they always make it in the same position. Find new ways of feeling.

Each experience has to be created with great sensitivity. When you make love to a woman or a man, make it a great celebration. Each time bring some new creativity into it. Sometimes have a dance before you make love. Sometimes pray before you make love. Sometimes go running in the forest, then make love. Sometimes go swimming and then make love. Then each love experience will create more and more sensitivity in you, and love will never become dull and boring. Find new ways to explore the other. Don’t get fixed in routines. All routines are anti-life; routines are in the service of death.

Try something new

You can always invent – there is no limit to inventions. Sometimes a small change… and you will be tremendously benefited. You always eat at the table; sometimes sit on the lawn and eat there. You will be tremendously surprised; it is a totally different experience. The smell of the freshly-cut grass, the birds hopping around and singing, the fresh air, the sun rays, and the feel of the wet grass underneath…. It cannot be the same experience as when you sit on a chair and eat at your table. All the ingredients are different.

Sometimes try eating naked, and you will be surprised. Just a small change – nothing much, you are sitting naked – but you will have a totally different experience, because something new has been added to it. If you eat with a spoon and fork, sometimes eat with bare hands. Your touch will bring some new warmth to the food. A spoon is a dead thing. When you eat with a spoon or a fork, you are far away. That same fear of touching anything – even food cannot be touched. You will miss the texture, the touch, the feel of it. The food has as much feel as it has taste. When you eat with your hands, your touch is contributing. It will be tastier. It will be more human, more natural.

Find out new ways in everything. Tantra says: If you can go on finding new ways every day, your life will remain a thrill, an adventure. You will never be bored. You will always be curious; you will always be on the verge of seeking the unknown and the unfamiliar. Your senses will remain clear, because when you are always on the verge of seeking, exploring, finding, searching, you cannot become dull, you cannot become stupid.

Psychologists say that by the age of seven, stupidity starts; a child becomes dull, he stops learning. You will be surprised to know that the average mental age is 12 years. People don’t grow beyond that, they are stuck there. That’s why you see so much childishness in the world. Just insult a person who is 60 years of age, and within seconds he is just a 12-year-old child. And he is behaving in such a way that you will not be able to believe that such a grown up person could be so childish.

People are always ready to fall back. Their mental age is just skin-deep, hidden behind. Just scratch a little, and their mental age comes out. Their physical age is not of much importance. People die childish; they never grow.

Tantra says: Learn new ways of doing things, and free yourself of habits as much as possible. And Tantra says: Don’t be imitative; otherwise your senses will become dull. Don’t imitate. Find out ways of doing things in your own way. Have your signature on everything that you do.

Excerpted from The Tantra Vision/Courtesy: Osho International Foundation.
Used with permission

Osho was never born never died. He only visited this planet earth between 11 December 1931 and 19 January 1990. He was a charismatic and gifted speaker who became the leader of a worldwide new spiritual movement.


  1. Love your sayings about Tantra. Especially, “Tantra says: Learn new ways of doing things, and free yourself of habits as much as possible. ” This is so true and it definitely reflects my mind set in my work!


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