Our environment is tuned in such a way that a diverse number of people cross our paths every day. While a few may be called acquaintances by the formal greeting that occurs between people, it is people who touch our hearts and share our space that keep us looking young and alive.
We are often told we do not have a choice of family. But, we do have a choice: to make friends, our extended family. Deciphering between good friends at a particular place and time and friends of an enduring nature is not always easy. Yet, situations and circumstances are often an indicator about who we would like to maintain a long-lasting relationship with and who actually will share the journey with us.
While psychiatrists can help us deal with deeply evolved problems, friends help us to share and dissect our day-to-day life. While it is not recommended that we drop all the weight of our burden on our friends, allowing another person who we can trust in the personal aspects of our life can be a good de-stressor.
At an early stage in life, it may have been important to count the number of friends we have. However, as we grow older, our choice of friends also undergoes change in that we value the quality of closeness and the bonding we develop as we mature. Friends at the childhood level are usually about play times and fun.
Like human beings, friendships need to expand and grow in order to survive. Our needs change and so do what we look for in friends. It is true that friends do not have answers to our burning questions at all times. But, as individuals we grow up with our own sense of values and experiences that may differ vastly among best friends. This can come into play in helping us make decisions that require more than just our intellect.
Friendship, like any other relationship, cannot be taken for granted. It often happens during the adolescent years that we leave friends behind in search of romance and ever-lasting love. While the search for the former may be a lifetime pursuit for some, it is friendship that will see us through many changes, and yet be flexible enough to allow us to grow and also thrive. This will enhance our lives in the same environment, perhaps even keep us sane.
The hard part
The pressures that come with life and in living reflect on friendships as well. Some succumb under it, others can ride through it. Like many forces at work, with time and distance, misunderstanding and communication cuts pull out the connections. Many friendships drift apart in its wake, sometimes in intentionally lethargic fashion but many in unpredicted, unfortunate fashion. Why won’t they call? Don’t I matter anymore? Or, my friendship? At some time, this feeling has assailed us all, especially when friendship was something we deeply cherished and allowed to flourish in the belief that this was for keeps. It is sad to lose friends. It is as hard as it is to lose love.
Sometimes, love and romance only reveal the good side of life, but friendships are appreciably true because the whole concept of friendship involves the acceptance of another individual – for their imperfections, their mysteries and their flaws, and helping shape one another’s lives. Friendship not only teaches us about life but also gives us the tools to cope with and overcome the hurdles that life brings.
In the chaos of life, few things hurt as deeply as losing friendships, some we thought would never fade. But, in that innocence when we pledged we would be friends forever, there is a deeper feeling – one that will attract new ones and form meaningful communication lines.
True friends, like family, are irreplaceable. However, one should remember – there is room for innovation, to bring a new dimension to our life, through a new friend.
Sometimes life can be a long, painful road. Many friends may fall along the way. Yet, like the seasons, some leaves wither and fall, and new ones spring. There is hope after all. Not all of life’s givings are permanent. May be, picking up that phone and calling a friend would not be such a bad idea after all. Perhaps, the person on the other end of the line has been a lonely soul as well caught in the muddles of daily life and the call may actually spark up his/her life.
Choose friends wisely. The pleasure of the journey called life banks significantly on the company we keep and take along the road.
Going through life without friends is not possible. There has to be someone who we can confide in, have fun and share days with.
- The Forever Friend. This is one irreplaceable friendship, which keeps all your memories alive. This friend is usually an old one that would understand a story about meeting your high school crush and, therefore, is usually your strongest friend
- The Work Friend. Having an office friend can do miracles to your productivity. Some people actually look forward to going to work if they have friends there. These friends are there to complain about bosses and dream about other jobs
- The Feel-Good Friend. We all need people to make us feel good about ourselves. While your best friend decides to be as frank as s/he can be about something, this feel-good friend can lift your spirits without exaggeration
- The Direct Friend. Sometimes best friends are less direct and that’s when you need a straight-talking friend who will be the one to give you a frank opinion about things you are not sure about. Just make sure that you talk to them about everything on your mind if only you are ready to hear the truth
- The Hanging-Out Friend. This friendship works because you share the same interests and, therefore, speak the same vocabulary. Also, what started as a walking buddy might end up to be one of the most important friends in your life.
– Team CW