Wikipedia, the online source on almost everything, defines a celebrity as "A celebrity is a widely-recognised or famous person who commands a high degree of public and media attention. The word stems from the Latin verb 'celebrere' but they may not become a celebrity unless public and mass media interest is piqued."
A newspaper recently carried an article about a very popular actress complaining how she misses walking down the road to buy bread and daily groceries. To say that I was flummoxed to read this, would be understating it. I mean, who in their right minds would miss such a chore? Not me for sure, and I'm not even a celebrity, yet.
It has been entertaining reading about how they age once in ten years, or how they were "discovered accidentally" in a disco/shopping mall and, my favourite: their mothers/friends sent in their pictures for a beauty contest/audition and these innocent souls were totally clueless about it till they were selected. I am not even going to mention the weary cliche "We are just good friends." And, if all that wasn't enough, we now have reams of newsprint being dedicated to how celebrities bemoan about missing a regular life.
I wonder if they realise that the coverage of their star-crossed lives is accelerating Global Warming, a cause most of them work for and warn the world about constantly. How? Simple - more trees need to be chopped down just so that more paper can be produced to accommodate more print-matter about them.
More the fame, crazier the quirks
Am I the only one who has noticed that the more famous people get, the crazier their wishes, quirks, and complaints get?
Far too many times we've read The Famous complain about how they miss "just walking down the road without being noticed" or "shopping like a regular person without being recognised and mobbed" and yes, the latest "Walking down the road to buy groceries". Well, they can nibble on caviar aboard a yacht in secluded Crete, spoon out delectable Creme Brulee in Casablanca, enjoy slivers of Truffles in Provence or just fly on a whim to Miami for a refreshing Mojito, but do you ever hear them lamenting that? Not.
Celebs attract attention they shun
Imagine walking down the road alone or along with a few friends. Do people stare at you? Maybe a few do cast a cursory glance or two as you walk by. Now imagine walking down the road surrounded by sunglasses-sporting, burly, and at times gun-toting bodyguards. Or, in the absence of bodyguards, a very visible entourage circling you protectively. Will people stare? Of course they will, and more than just a cursory glance or two!
It's funnier still when celebrities wear sunglasses as big as car windshields, wrap themselves up in big coats and mummify their faces with scarves on a perfectly hot summer's day and then complain about being gaped at. Who wouldn't stare at such a conspicuously dressed spectacle?
Because my kind heart bleeds at the distress that not being like a regular person is causing them, I have a little fail-proof suggestion that will stop people from recognising and mobbing The Famous. Stop slapping on the war paint. Without it, forget other people, even they wouldn't recognise themselves! This way they can walk and shop to their hearts content anywhere and everywhere and for as long as they please.
Fred Allen, famous American comedian and humorist, put it best when he said "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised."
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